The one down side to having my seratonin issues in remission is that I miss the emotional rawness that came with depressive episodes. When I was depressed I always withdrew deeply into myself and became very thoughtful. It was rarely a positive thing but it did cause me to explore a lot of life issues and question the very fibre of my being. I always wrote the best poetry, and likewise the best blog entries, when I was depressed. Now, though I still experience a normal and full range of emotions, I don't feel like doing that so much.
[This is the primary reason that my old blog is a downer to read-- I tended only to write when I was feeling particularly pensive. When I was happy, I just went outside and enjoyed myself. I didn't blog.]
I've been feeling a bit like writing these last few days but finding that I have very little to write about. I don't want to discuss politics or finances... that's never really been what I'm interested in. There's nothing momentous going on in my life, and I haven't really thought about anything ponderous lately. I've just been... doing the day to day and enjoying it.
I guess the best solution is to take more photos and post them. That's why I have my magnificent beast of a camera after all. I haven't been doing nearly enough photography lately, and maybe it will help me get back into seeing outside the mundane into the beauty of life. I'll make it a post-New Years resolution: more photoblogging to make up for the lack of "contemplative naval gazing." Howzzat sound?
Here are a few random shots from the past month, the first two taken with my point-and-shoot and the last shot (by Justin) with the SLR:
A participant in the Lil Diva Dash didn't quite make it to the finish
Justin caroling with my co-workers on Candy Cane Lane
Theater Simple performing one of Suzan Lori Parks's 365 Plays
Posted on January 09, 2007 @ 10:07 PM | 2 comments
Comments:
most of the time i'm convinced it's just my life circumstances (not too happy in job, well, not so much the job, mostly the place i live / isolated / don't know many people here at all) are the main factor in my depression, that once i fix XYZ i'll be pretty much fine, but sometimes i'm concerned it's the other way around. that once i feel better, life will look better regardless. so, medication might be a good idea. i want to talk to a professional but am sooooooooouper skeptical. what did you do? get a rec. from your regular doctor and go from there?
By 
, at
6:04 PM, January 10, 2007
Rebecca- The first step is definitely talking to your doctor. Your doctor will likely recommend you talk to a psychologist or family therapist to asses your personal needs. He or she will write you a referral, and you'll make an appointment with the counselor. There's no harm in doing this even if you don't need medication-- talking to a therapist can help you create better coping mechanisms to deal with everyday stress and depression-inspiring circumstances. After you've talked to the therapist, they'll let you know what they recommend for you, whether it's medication, weekly talk sessions, or whatever. :)
By 
Kat, at
6:20 PM, January 10, 2007
