I'm almost done with all the Glacier photos and I'll post them early tomorrow. Tonight I have a date to play WoW with my sweetheart, so I'm going to dedicate a brief time to talking about something you all demanded to hear more about: Our engagement.
At the time we got engaged, Justin and I had been dating for almost six-and-a-half years. Many of those years we spent hundreds of miles apart and saw each other only on odd weekends. Ten months we spent on different continents. We lived together for a over two years cumulatively, only about six months less than the total time we've spent living in the same city.
Despite our long and unconventional relationship, we've had very few troubles. We value our independence as much as we value our time together, which let us succeed where many others fail in long-distance relationships. We have a wonderfully calm and healing home-life... we're both "nesters," good cooks and home designers in our own way. We share many of the same interests-- a respect for the outdoors, an acumen for health & fitness, a love of the unconventional and offbeat (be it movies, gaming, sex acts, whatever), and a longing to travel. We fit into each other's hearts easily, like two halves of a whole.
Thankfully, we have our differences, and enough of them that we can stand to be apart and do our own thing. We're both opinionated people in very headstrong and sometimes stupid ways. I think Justin objectifies me too much at times, he thinks I don't objectify him enough.
We're lucky that we haven't had any considerable pressure from family or friends to change our relationship, mostly just admiration for our strength and perseverence. My mother was more than a little distressed to discover that we were having sex before I went away to college at age seventeen. Once she got over the fact that I wasn't her wee little girl any more, things calmed down. My family loves Justin-- he's like a brother to my three sisters-- and his family loves me. In some ways, I'm closer to his side than to my own, but that's a "therapy issue."
Come 2006, people started asking why we weren't engaged. Marriage has never been a serious concern of ours, and still isn't, given that we're most likely setting a 2008 wedding date. I did start teasingly putting the pressure on, crazed in that way that we 20-somethings get. But I knew he'd do it when the time was right.
( Continue...) The time was right on Saturday, August 26th around, oh, 2:30-ish PM (mountain time).
We had just arrived at our campsite on the first eve of our 2-night, 3-day, 19-mile backpacking trip through the Montana Backcountry in Glacier National Park. That day, we hiked 6.5 miles from the Gunsight trailhead to Gunsight lake on nice, mostly-flat terrain. We got to the campground early and set up our tents on prime real-estate near the lake. RacheMicah curled up to take a little nap, and I joined Justin at the waterfront.
The water was surprisingly warm, so we waded back and forth for a little while to soothe our feet. I sat down on a large rock off to the side of a little beach alcove we discovered and proceeded to toss pebbles into the lake while Justin waded. After a while, he came over and knelt down in front of me, being generally affectionate. It struck how picturesque the scene was, and how premeditated our alone time suddenly seemed. He was fiddling in his pocket. I thought, Oh, God, he was going to propose! My heart started racing... until he got up, gave me a kiss, and waded back out into the lake.
I laughed a little at myself because I was being somewhat obsessive. In reality, I hadn't actually been thinking of a proposal until that moment because everything seemed to be suspiciously in line. But then I remembered that when Rachel and Micah were engaged in Glacier two summers ago, I told Justin we'd have to do it somewhere else. I cursed myself for saying that.
I was so preoccupied I started chewing on the pebble I'd been rubbing in my hands. Justin came back over and kneeled in front of me again, so I tossed it into the lake. "Oops, it's gone!" I said. "That's OK," he said, "I have something else for you."
When I looked down, he was holding my beautiful ring. All I could say, considering the previous moment's preoccupation was, "WHAT?!" and laugh.
Of course, he asked me to marry him. And, of course, I said yes.
After a few more private, snuggly moments on the beach (during which I requested he ask me to marry him again just so I could say 'yes' some more), Rachel and Micah joined us. I thought our alone time had been staged, but it turned out that no one but some of Justin's nursing school classmates knew his intent to propose. So we announced our engagement and they snapped a few cute, giddy photos:
(for bigger, click here)
As far as issues of protest, I can think of only two, and they are worth mention here if only for their irony in retrospect. The first was when one of this blog's regular readers flipped out and insisted I should find a better man if Justin wasn't going to propose. I wasn't about to break up with someone who wouldn't marry me immediately-- especially as commitment obviously wasn't a weak point of my relationship. I know said reader was just defending me (thanks!) and I knew we would be engaged eventually. So I here's where I say, I told you so! :)
The second protest is less sensible and considerably less happy. It happened only about a month ago when two people I'd considered friends suddenly found it of dire importance to tell me that Justin and I were ill-suited for each other. Had they been concerned because they thought Justin treated me poorly or perhaps because they knew he'd been unfaithful (or something), I might not be writing this today, and I might still be close to them. But no, indeed, their reasoning was less sound. They told me I was too good for Justin... because I was too good looking for him. Yep, you read right. They thought that Justin was too geeky, too quirky, and not hot enough for lil ol' me. Then, later, one of them asked if it was OK with me for them to exclude Justin (i.e. invite only me), when we got together for social functions. Whut? First, thanks for making my preferences your business. Second, thanks for being so superficial that it's wretchedly shocking. Sorry guys, but I got tired of the "ditch your loser friends to hang with the cool kids" thing in middle school.
Why am I mentioning this? It's true that I kind of feel spiteful even talking about what happened with those folks. The fact that it came out of the blue still bothers me a lot. And all told, situation is more loaded and complex that I can give light to on this blog. But I do feel the need to get it off my chest and give someone the finger, at least in a passive-agressive way.
So, screw them and here's to us! I don't plan on marrying Justin because he's trendy like The Gap, I plan to marry him because he makes me smile, gets me going, and keeps me warm. We endure because we care about each other, we challenge each other, and we know how to make each other comfortable. Now, let's plan one hell of a party to celebrate that! :D
Posted on September 13, 2006 @ 8:40 PM | 11 comments
Comments:
When I read this
After a while, he came over and knelt down in front of me, being generally affectionate. It struck how picturesque the scene was, and how premeditated our alone time suddenly seemed. He was fiddling in his pocket. I thought, Oh, God, he was going to propose! My heart started racing... until he got up, gave me a kiss, and waded back out into the lake.
I was thinking he had dropped the ring in the lake and had to go back in to get it.
From reading this you guys seem great for each other. Congratulations.
By 
running42k, at
3:57 AM, September 14, 2006
Wow! If anyone ever spoke about my boyfriend like that I would go effing crazy.
But hey, at least you can take pleasure from the knowledge that if they are picking their partners according to a set of aesthetic criteria, they are never go to find the depth or meaning you have from a relationship!
Congrats again...
By 
, at
4:02 AM, September 14, 2006
Wow! What a great story! It sounds like you're perfect for each other... you seem very fitted.
Also... sex (or as I like to say, Secks!) at 17? You're such an unbelievable whore.
Also 2, Justin's way hot, how dare anyone say otherwise (and these people say 'geek' like it's a bad thing)!
And ALSO 3... Justin: Nice shoes.
By Lazy Lightning, at
6:51 AM, September 14, 2006
I think Justin should grow a goatee and get some highlights, okay girlfriend? ASAP!
By , at
7:15 AM, September 14, 2006
He needs a tan too. Not just any tan though, a fake tan. And a body wax.
By Lazy Lightning, at
7:53 AM, September 14, 2006
Haha, I told justin he needs new digs, STAT!
But if he grew a goatee, he might be worse off, not better. Someday I'll post our picture from my senior prom and you'll see what I mean. D:
By Kat, at
10:17 AM, September 14, 2006
LL: Yeah, his aunt hooked him up with new Keens so he could go wading. :D I want some too now... my Tevas are not nearly as awesome.
By Kat, at
10:20 AM, September 14, 2006
I got mine on eeeeeeeeebay!
...my moderation phrase is rgbarfin.
By Lazy Lightning, at
2:06 PM, September 14, 2006
Little late but:
Congrats!
By Zac, at
2:36 AM, September 15, 2006
your ring is gorgeous. i loove it!
what an amazing proposal. i am so happy for you both! here's to real relationships and love.
- meegan
notsosimple.net/simple/
By , at
12:55 PM, September 17, 2006
Congratulations!!! I just randomly came to look at your blog again after approximately two and a half million years, and here you're getting married!
And I still owe Justin a blow job. >_<
- Erin
PS: Geeks are the only way to go!
By ssjmegami, at
2:21 PM, September 18, 2006
